Leslie's Father Piece

Let me know if this can go anywhere, if not it's ok, i just wanted you all to hear this piece because i've been wanting to talk about it for the longest time...

“…Because of you”
-Leslie Duldulao

Dark cold nights
As I wait outside under the stars [LOOK AND POINT UP TO SKY]
Waiting for you to let me back in
Back inside the warmth of the house [HUG YOURSELF AND SMILE]
Back inside the place I call home
The warmth
The warmth of the blood running down
My arms as I look at the open gashes
From the slashes
The slashes
Left and right [LOOK LEFT AND THEN LOOK RIGHT]
Shielding me form the love-filled hatred
Blows with my arm [SHEILD YOUR FACE WITH ARMS]
Blows…from your belt
You said “tough love”
I didn’t know that love had to be that tough
Tough on my heart
The heart in which pumps YOUR blood through my body
Your blood is what you see running down my arms [TOUCH ARMS]
Your blood is what stains your belt
Your blood is what stains my heart [TOUCH HEART]
My tears wash away your blood from my arms
But the scars still remain
Reminding me of the “tough love”
You gave me when I did something bad
You only saw me when I did something bad
Never any praise when I did something good
Always looking at the worst
And not my best
“Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid.”
Afraid of what you think of me now
I am that strong independent woman that you raised up to be
Who speaks out my mind in confidence
Saying whatever comes up in my mind
I have a voice
I am still that sweet innocent little girl that you raised up to be
But now, I am strong enough to hold my ground
Strong enough to speak my mind
To help inspire others
To take care of myself
To be who I want to be
I want to be me
Me, the person that shows love not through tough love
But through love…”LOVE”…L..O..V..E.. love
Through a hug [EMBRACE]
A hand shake [HAND SHAKE]
Soft spoken words [GIGGLE]
A smile [SMILE]
A simple touch…of my fingertips…to yours [ACT THIS OUT]
A gentle kiss [BITE YOUR LIPS]
Tough love is not what keeps me away from you
It is what keeps me wanting you evermore
I want you to understand all the pain
Suffering
Hurt
Disappointment
And struggle
You have put on my shoulders since that night
I want to know why
Why tough love?
Why tough love “that” way?
Was there no other way?
Was it because of the past memories you experienced
That this [SLAP LEFT]
Was the only way [SLAP RIGHT]
You knew [DOWN ON KNEES]
How to express [SHEILD YOUR FACE]
Your love [CROUCH DOWN AND SHUDDER]
To me? [PEEK THROUGH STAND UP]
Not only does the blood of my ancestors run through my veins [TOUCH ARMS WITH FLOW OF BLOOD]
They run in yours as well [REACH OUT TO CROWD]
You don’t have to keep being that follower
Of traditional ways in expressing your love
A new day is here
Times have changed
Take control
Practice what you preach
You say
“Be independent
Stand your ground
Live your life for you and no one else
No one else but yourself”
BULLSHIT!!
Tell me why I haven’t seen you live YOUR life
Why express your anger
That you have bottled up inside of you [PAUSE]
On me?
Why do I have to suffer on your behalf?
NO!
I should not have to deal with that shit
YOUR SHIT!!
Take your own advice and live
[FOLLOWING RECITE TOGETHER]
Live your life
Be who you want to be
Do what you want to do
Express how you want to express yourself
Sing
Dance
Speak
Runaround
Organize
Give a helping hand
Draw
Create
Write
Live
Laugh
Cry
Smile
Frown
Respect
Trust
Inspire
Believe
Dream
Imagine
Grow
Relax
Hope
Wish
Love
Just love
Love me
“Can you practice what you preach?
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, father, father help us
Send some guidance from above
‘Cause people got me, got me questionin’
Where is the love?”
Where is the love?
Where is YOUR love?
I want YOUR love
I want you to love me
“Because I do…love…you”